"Hero's are not born; YOU make the choice to be one. " Elisabeth Krijtenburg
Before I began my tapering journey, my boyfriend called me a hero. My first response was that he was mistaken. The words felt distant, like they belonged to someone else, not me. Sure, I had overcome a very dark and painful chapter of my life before tapering Lorazepam. But to be a hero? That word carried a weight and a strength I was sure I didn't have.
Then, it hit. I learned that tapering would be a slow, grueling process, not the quick fix I had secretly hoped for. There would be no shortcuts, no magic solutions. The road ahead stretched long and uncertain, and the idea of facing it felt overwhelming. That's when I realized something profound: no one was coming to save me. Coming off meds was my journey to walk, my mountain to climb.
I remember standing in the kitchen, and the trail ahead crept in, and it started to dawn on me. My breath fastened,... my heart skipped a beat. I realized no one could carry any part or protect me from anything. Nothing I had done before had prepared me for the journey ahead. I was entirely on my own on this journey. I was the one. No doctor would be able to help, no medication would soften, and no family, friends, work, or surroundings would protect me from what was in front of me. ( Side note: Remember that all I have learned NOW was not in my experience at the time... I had no idea about the Mind-Body connection, and I didn’t have any of the tools I have today, except a small belief in myself.)
This is where I remembered and heard my boyfriend's words echo in my mind.
Right there and then, I decided on something that changed everything.
I decided to become my own hero—one who would be there for me, love me, keep an eye on me while I climbed the mountain, and fly to my rescue when needed. Yes, in my vision, I included the cape of Superman or Superwoman —that kind of hero— one with superpowers and always right on time.
Resisting Life's Flow Hurts
Let's face it—most of us wish life were more straightforward. When pain or hardship shows up, our first instinct is to push it away or deny it. "Why me? Why now?" we ask. But the truth is that resisting what life gives us only creates more suffering. Fighting reality is like swimming against a powerful current; it drains your energy and leaves you exhausted, but it never changes the direction of the river. Instead of showing up for yourself and your challenge, it makes you bail out of the situation. Resisting life’s flow, leaves you powerless and overwhelmed
Coming off medication is no different. It will be whatever it will be. Symptoms may rise and fall like waves, and the journey will bring its challenges. But we do have a choice: how we show up for ourselves.
Will we resist, complain, and crumble under the weight of it all? Or will we embrace the truth, take a deep breath, and decide to stand tall—no matter how hard it gets?
Deciding to Be My Hero
For me, that choice became extra apparent the moment I understood how much was at stake. Tapering wasn't just about surviving; it was about reclaiming my life, freedom, and sovereignty.
I wasn't a hero yet—not the kind my friend had described, or I envisioned—but I knew I could become one. I began to see this journey not as an enemy to defeat but as an invitation to rise to my highest self.
Along the way, music was an inspiration for me. I couldn't listen to it most of the time, but specific lyrics carried me through dark moments and reminded me of my strength:
- Adele's lyrics: "Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior when the thunder comes for me." Those words echoed my determination to be there for myself, no matter what storms came my way.
- James Arthur's 'Recovery': "In my recovery, I am a soldier at war, I am breaking down walls. I define, I design my recovery." This song reminded me of my resilience and power to shape my healing journey.
- Rachel Platten's 'Fight Song': Every line of this anthem reminded me why I couldn't give up. It wasn't just about proving to the world that I would be alright—it was about proving it to myself.
These songs became my soundtrack, my battle cry, and my reminder that I was stronger than I believed.
The Courage to Keep Going
It wasn't smooth sailing. There were moments when I felt utterly defeated, like I couldn't take another step. But in those moments, I remembered my decision at the start of this journey: Giving up is not an option. I will show up for myself.
It's not easy to keep going when your body screams for relief or progress feels slow. But here's the thing: every tiny step you take matters.
Every day, you choose to keep moving forward; no matter how small the effort, you're proving to yourself just how capable you are.
Being a hero isn't about slaying dragons or climbing mountains in one leap—it's about repeatedly showing up for yourself, even when it's hard. Being a hero doesn’t mean you are not scared; it just means you continue to move forward with what you aim to reach for. You simply don’t let obstacles or your fears stop you.
Why You Are a Hero Too
If you're reading this, chances are you're facing your mountain. You may be at the beginning of your tapering journey or in the thick of it. Wherever you are, know this: you don't need to wait for someone to call you a hero. You already are one.
Being a hero isn't about being fearless or perfect. It's about showing up daily, even when it's hard. It's about choosing courage over comfort and trusting that every step forward brings you closer to freedom.
The Journey to Heroism
Becoming your own hero is not about fighting against life; it's about flowing with it. It's about accepting the journey, trusting the process, and embracing the person you're becoming along the way.
So, ask yourself: How will I show up for myself today?
I encourage you to choose who you are going to be. How will you show up for yourself?
Will you resist the current, or will you surrender to the flow and allow it to carry you forward?
The choice is yours. And when you look back at the end of this journey, you'll see that you were the hero long before you made the decision.
Heroes aren't just in stories. It's you. It's me.
My friend, I know you've got this.
